Monthly Archives: November 2009


 One of the things I resent about having to undergo fertility treatment is that it seems to diminish some of the small joys associated with making and having a baby.

Fun, carefree sex…. Gone!  Light-hearted conversations about who the baby will look like… Out the window! Desperately trying to figure out if your husband or the milk-man is the father of your unborn child… History!

I love surprising my husband, and couldn’t wait for the opportunity to tell him that I was pregnant. Fertility drugs, regimented sex schedules, meticulously documented menstrual cycles, calculated two-week waits and frequent pregnancy tests sort of ruin the element of surprise. My darling husband will, as a matter of course, know when I had my last period, when I ovulated, and when we are due for a pregnancy test.

Damn you, Assisted Reproductive Technology, you have stolen my power to surprise!

Before we knew that we would need help to get pregnant, I had thought of a few possible ways to give him the news that he had knocked me up:

  1. Stick a tiny bow on my tummy approximately where I imagine the teeny embryo would be, then tell him I have a present for him hidden somewhere on my body and he has to find it.
  2. Buy a ridiculously corny t-shirt saying something like “the bun-maker”, “New Dad!”, or “Got One Past the Goalie” and hide it under his pillow.
  3. Wrapping the positive pregnancy test and giving it to him as a gift with a six-pack of beer for him to celebrate (and perhaps a non-alcoholic champagne for me which I can drink out of the crystal flutes we got as a wedding present).
  4. Vomiting a lot and complaining that I am too fat for any of my clothes, and just letting him figure it out.

Don’t get me wrong. He and I will both be absolutely ecstatic when we finally get that news. But it does take some of the fun out of it, doesn’t it?



Filed under Infertility

Watching the Clock…

 Doesn’t time move slowly when you’re waiting for something?

Four days to get prenatal blood test results…

…8 days waiting for SA sample collection, 4 more days to get results…

…16 days for US with contrast…

…and then (barring unexpected results) I can finally start drugging myself to the eyeballs.

All this waiting is making me hungry. I think I might go make myself a sandwich.


Filed under Infertility

Money Well Spent

H had been making a bit of a fuss about the fact that he was due to go to the lab to provide his semen sample today. I think he was concerned he might get stage fright and be unable to perform his oh-so-arduous task. On my way out the door this morning I wished him well.

“Oh, er… I looked at the calendar you made. The appointment isn’t until tomorrow.”

The “Fertility Folder” has paid for itself already.

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Filed under Infertility, Uncategorized

Kreativ Blogger Award

Thanks to Stef for this award!

Now, if I follow the rules (which I always do, compulsively) I need to disclose seven things about myself that others may not know and pass along the award to seven other people. So here goes…

  1. I met my husband at University when I was 19. He hated me. But that’s okay, because I hated him too.
  2. I sometimes have trouble making decisions
  3. I am a keen amateur photographer. I love it! It is my main creative outlet.
  4. I’ve sky-dived. Twice.
  5. If someone starts singing a song I know within my earshot I feel utterly compelled to complete the verse. It is an illness, one my husband constantly abuses for his own twisted pleasure.
  6. I cannot carry a tune (which makes number 5 above particularly embarrassing)
  7. I haven’t yet told anyone I know about this blog… I’m enjoying having my own private little space.

And the nominees are:

  • A Baby for Al?
  • Park Slope Purgatory
  • a little bit pregnant
  • Sassy Dr Cil
  • Baby Blakely
  • Loveliest Days
  • From IF to When

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Pretty, pretty things




Filed under Infertility

Ten Things I Like About my FS; Or: I Like it when my Doctor calls me Skinny

1 ) He had a firm handshake

2 ) He agreed that I probably have not been ovulating – validation!

3 ) He immediately organised the two investigations I wanted  (SA and US with contrast) without me even having to mention them!

4 ) He was personable

5 ) His tie was stylish. There’s no excuse for a man in a suit to wear a dorky tie. Ever.

6 ) He aimed his information at just the right level to avoid sounding condescending to me while still explaining enough so my (non-medical) DH could understand everything

7 ) He drew diagrams while he explained the process to us. As a very visual person, I appreciate a good diagram.

8 ) He had an adorable photo of his daughter with her face painted sitting discreetly on his desk

9 ) He was optimistic

10 ) He called me skinny. (I never think of myself as skinny, although I guess in PCOS terms I am. On a good day I can consider myself slim… with some imagination.)

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A Bad Day Turned Good

My day started terribly.

I worked the night shift last night – and it was hellish. I can’t even begin to explain it.

I made a concerted efort to get out on time because I wanted to get home, shower, and meet Husband before our very first appointment with our fertility specialist, but the traffic on the way home was awful. I was sitting in the car getting more and more stressed.  I can truly say I have now experienced road rage!

On my way home Husband rang to try to coordinate our meet-up, but my phone malfunctioned. I almost threw the damn thing out the window.

I managed to get home, shower and change, and have a quick cuddle with H to try to calm down before heading back into the terrible traffic.

In the end we made it to our 10.00 appointment at 9.59 and 30 seconds. This felt pretty late to me… I get stressed out if I’m not running 15 minutes early. What can I say? I think punctuality is important. Oh yeah, I’m anal. Tell me something I don’t know.

I’m sure I could have coped with any or all of these problems much better if I hadn’t already been a bit anxious/excited/terrified about the looming appointment. Mostly I just really, really wanted to like and trust our doctor.

And the verdict is: I like him! And just as importantly so does H. I’ll go into the reasons I felt comfortable with him in another post.

Most importantly – we have a PLAN! I like plans. In fact, my sanity depends on them. I usually like my plans in the form of an Excel spread sheet, but hey, I try to be realistic.

Our Plan:

Today I had my prenatal bloods. Results in the next few days.

Next week H gets to spend some romantic time with a sample jar. I hope I won’t get jealous.

The following week I have my HSG to make sure my tubes are patent.

And then 4 cycles of Provera and Clomid!

If we haven’t conceived by then I will have a laparoscopy to look for any other problems.

I love our plan! In fact I love it so much that instead of getting some sleep before work tonight I went out and bought divider tabs, a calendar and a stylish folder in which to keep all our fertility related documents. Once I get it organised I might even post a photo of it. (Yes, I know… I’m anal.)

But mostly, it just feels good to finally be doing something.

♥ I.O.


Filed under Infertility