Last night my husband and I were sitting down after dinner and I was chatting away about a few things and mentioned how pleased I was that I hadn’t had any side effects from the Provera and Clomid. H gave me a sideways glance and asked what the SEs are. I mumbled something vague about mood swings etc etc, and noticed H trying to hide a smile.
“Why are you laughing?! Do you think I’m having MOOD SWINGS?!!!”
Ah , oops. I really wasn’t intending on yelling at him. I guess there’s my answer.
After H recovered from his fits of laughter he was able to convey that yes, perhaps my mood has seemed a little labile of late. I don’t know if it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, but a couple of times at work today I had to fight back tears. Things are pretty stressful there at the moment because my colleague is away on leave and because of the holidays I’m trying to cram 5 days of work into 3 days. On top of that I’m distracted by all my personal medical shenanigans. We don’t get mobile phone reception at work so I have to run around the corridors in my spare moments or wait until there’s no one around to make medical appointments and get results. And unfortunately my boss – who’s lovely – just hasn’t been very effectual this week. He works much better at a slow pace than a fast one! I pushed and pushed this morning to get some important tasks done, but somehow we still ended up spending our time on tasks that to me seem much less urgent. And I know what that means… tomorrow will be even worse than today.
This situation just reminded me so much of this time last year. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas 2008 that my pituitary tumour and PCOS were diagnosed, and I was upset and stressed trying to organise all my medical reviews and scans, all the while dealing with a very disorganised and unsympathetic senior staff member. I was working a particularly stressful job at that time and unfortunately my off-sider was off on extended compassionate leave. Luckily my seniors’ manager was fabulous and when I confided in him he really helped facilitate things for me. There certainly were some tears at work last year though, so feeling teary today just brought all those feelings flooding back.
Okay, my whinge is over! Now it’s time to hunker down to some Indian takeaway with H. It’s a particular treat that we love to indulge in from time-to-time (ie frequently), and although a 38 C day doesn’t seem like the best timing to eat hot Indian food, neither of us wanted to cook!