You might remember this post I made a week ago talking about how hopeful I was for this cycle. And although the 2WW has been getting more and more difficult, and I’ve become increasingly impatient, I’ve remained fairly chirpy (as much as usual, anyway).
But today I’m down in the dumps. To put it lightly, I feel like shit. I think I have noticed the first signs of an impending period. And it’s only CD 21! The signs are subtle, and to be honest I’ve had so few periods in the last 18 months (five, to be precise) that I might be out of practise at identifying the signs. Besides which, I didn’t truly expect to get pregnant on my first round of Clomid. But none of that matters. I still feel terrible. And it’s not only the IF saga, I just feel flat and worn down in general.
I’m still hoping that this will be a 24 hour blip, and that I’ll wake tomorrow full of hope once more. And that when I go to my Endocrinologist tomorrow for the results of my MRI there will be no nasty surprises, because I really don’t need something else to worry about. And then Friday morning I’m heading to the hospital before work for my CD23 bloods, the point of which is to confirm that I ovulated, but there’s a sneaky beta HCG thrown in for good measure even though I’ll only be 11 DPO.
In the meantime, I might make the most of having the house to myself and take myself off to the bedroom for a little cry. I’m sure to feel better (if not a bit ridiculous) after that.