My Cervix is Beautiful

It’s true.

 I saw my GP today for a pap smear, and she complimented my cervix. Okay, so she didn’t exactly use the word beautiful. But she did say it was a good cervix. The most normal-looking cervix she’s seen in a long time, actually. (Which struck me as rather odd, because something can really only be called ‘normal’ if it falls in the ‘normal range’ which by definition means it is also common… which left wondering why most of her patients have abnormal-looking cervixes – or is it cervii? Cervices?…but I digress). She also mentioned that it sits quite posteriorly, and for this reason she suggested spending some time with my legs up after sex – ya know, just in case H’s little guys can’t read a map. I reassured her that all our purposeful sex ends the same way… me with a pillow shoved under my backside and my legs propped up on the wall, for at least 20 minutes.

In more pertinent news, I am still getting negative OPKs. I truly thought it would be positive today because I could swear my right ovary was twingeing a bit… but it must have been something else, like gas, appendicitis, or perhaps if I’m really lucky I’ve developed a huge Clomid cyst. On a more serious note, I’m ambivalent about the negative OPK. Part of me is glad that it is negative because I didn’t want to disrupt H’s mini-break and even with him driving home to do the deed, we would have still missed the preceding 36 hours which isn’t ideal. But conversely, I’m bummed that it is negative because at least if it was positive the waiting game would be over and I could feel confident that this cycle has a shot at success.

After yesterday’s negative OPK, and knowing that H would be gone by the time I got home from work, I had a little melt-down. I had to find a vacant room at work, lock myself in, and then call H on my mobile only to sob incoherently down the phone to him. Poor fellow, I think he thought he might have to cancel his trip after all! Thankfully after a brief, oh, I don’t know – 15 or 20 minutes, I was able to calm down enough to reassure him that no, I hadn’t (totally) lost my mind, and no, he wouldn’t return home in 3 days’ time to find me dressed in  tinfoil and cradling a baby made out of a potato sack.

Of course, before I could return to work I had to spend the next 15 minutes holding cold wet hand-towels to my face to treat the blotchy, puffy eyes I had developed.

To avert the inevitable cry-fest that would have occurred when I returned to an empty house, after work I called a friend who was also husband-less for the night and went around to her place for a cup of tea. Which turned into dinner. And dessert. And two hours watching the first episode of this season’s Grey’s Anatomy. (During which we of course criticised every medical inaccuracy – that’s half the fun really).

I chose my friend well. Not only is she my only friend who is also TTC, she is also not having much success. We agreed that although we would never have wished this problem on each other, it was really nice to have someone to share the pain with; and since neither of us have conceived yet we are still hoping to produce babies within a few months of each other so we can share the experience – and the cost of childcare.

So, that’s the last 48 hours in the life of Tio. What’s happening in your world?



Filed under Infertility, Ovulation, Photos

8 responses to “My Cervix is Beautiful

  1. Secret Sloper

    I have a real-life acquaintance in a similar TTC boat (10 months, no luck, starting to pursue testing) and I agree–it’s a comfort to know you’re not the only freak out there, as much as you wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

    I’m glad you got the freakouts under control. I hope you get that positive OPK soon. The waiting game just drags, doesn’t it? I’m in it now.

  2. What a roller coaster the last 48 hours has been for you! Good news on the cervix – I love it when I get compliments on my lady parts from my RE. Is that weird?

    I love the image of you with a potato sack baby. I think we all hope that that’s not where we’re going to end up some day!!

    Good luck without the hubs – hopefully you’ll get some good “me” time over the next 2 days. Have fun!

  3. Al

    Can I just tell you that you’re hilarious?! You crack my shit up! Esp the potato sack baby…lol!

    I’ve also been told I have a beautiful cervix. It’s too bad really that my ovaries are shit!

    I’m so glad that you have a friend to talk to that’s also having problems TTC. I’ve got no one! I have one that took 1.5 years, but her son is now 1.5 yrs old, so it’s just far away for her now thought she’s always happy to lend an ear.

    Hope you get that +OPK and hubby is around to make things happen 😉

  4. Potato sack baby. 🙂 Good one.

    In my HSG my doc said my uterus was beautiful. I was on top of the world. Only thing: Too bad it doesn’t grow lining! Haha. Seriously, that’s great you have a good cervix. At least your bits and pieces are all in working order!!!

  5. rainingblossoms

    Yippee for a beautiful cervix!!! I hope that the next few days are peaceful and calm! I have freakouts with my husband too…I am sure he is a saint for all the times he has had to listen to me sob about random things. Sounds like you have a saint too!!

  6. Red

    Still cracking up at images of anyone dressed in tinfoil cradling a potato sack baby!

    Seriously, though sorry you are feeling a bit down – a trip away by my hubs always has me feeling down anyway, but adding to the mix a potential ovulation while he is away and I can see why you were so down.

    I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to watch the second part of Grey’s – that’s no a pregnancy thing wither, just a ‘me’ thing (earlybird) – I hope channel 7 does an encore performance during the day soon!

    Thanks for my award by the way – I’ll get around to putting something on my blog soon.

  7. JC

    Yay for a beautiful cervix! Those compliments go a long way with us don’t they. 😉
    I’m hoping you get a + opk soon, and I’m sorry you had a breakdown at work today. Hope you are feeling better!

  8. I love when medical professionals comment on the “beauty” of my innards. So strange…yet it makes me feel good that something is normal.
    It’s great you have an IRL friend who you can confide in. I have one friend who knows about our IF and she’s due in a few weeks with an IVF baby. It’s so nice to get together with her and spill my guts. She’s been a huge source of support for me.
    I hope you get that positive OPK soon.