I know that I’ve been MIA lately, and I apologise. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling so dreadful that I haven’t been able to do anything except work (sometimes) and lie on the couch. Even looking at a computer screen seems to exacerbate my nausea.
When I saw my GP at almost 4 weeks’ gestation to get a beta HCG level, she asked me if I had any symptoms yet, and I said no. At that point I was almost looking forward to symptoms starting so that I would feel pregnant as well as knowing I was pregnant. The first symptom I noticed, at 4 weeks, was thirst. I’m not normally a thirsty person. I usually have to remind myself to drink because unless I’m super hot or exercising I just don’t get much of a sense of thirst. But in that week from 4w to 5w I was SO thirsty, constantly. I had to carry a water bottle with me everywhere. I really wish that thirst had stayed my main symptom!
Pretty soon the exhaustion kicked in. I almost enjoyed this one for a while! It felt indulgent to get home from work and lie on the couch, to have an excuse to not cook dinner, to be able to have naps most days.
By 5 weeks I started to notice a touch of nausea, but it wasn’t too bad and I certainly wasn’t vomiting. Every now and again I would just feel a little bit seedy, as if I’d had one too many wines the night before. If I had a quick snack the nausea seemed to disappear again. Again I thought “this isn’t so bad”. Oh what a surprise I was in for!
The morning sickness really kicked in on my last day in New Zealand. It started around lunch time and just built and built. By the time I was at the airport waiting for my flight home I felt absolutely rotten. I was dreading getting on that plane. I get motion sickness at the best of times and I just knew I’d end up needing those air sickness bags they provide on board. And I did. Twice. Luckily both times I made it to the toilet first! I’d had the forethought to ask for an aisle seat towards the back of the plane in order to reduce my transit time for dashes to the loo. I highly recommend doing this if you’re travelling and you think you’re going to need to puke for whatever reason!
Since then I’ve been feeling gross, pretty much all the time. I have taken four days (or part-days) off work, which I hate. I started a new job 2 days after we conceived, and my work performance has been significantly affected by my symptoms. As well as my days off, my efficiency at work is much lower than usual. I felt like it was reflecting badly on my bosses’ interpretations of my performance, especially since they don’t have a long work history on which to base their opinions of me. About a week ago I told my supervisor who was very sympathetic. His wife has just had their second child and clearly she suffered with morning sickness too because he had some handy hints!
The only thing that seems to help is eating – constantly. Which is not as easy as it sounds, because I have absolutely zero appetite, and I feel disgustingly full all the time.
The silver lining to the morning sickness cloud is that we had a really good excuse to tell our close friends about the pregnancy, which was a lot of fun. It was pretty obvious that I was spending most of my time either sleeping or puking, so they would have figured it out pretty quickly!
To be honest I’ve found it pretty difficult to cope with. I’m not used to feeling unwell and I hate the impact it has had on my life. I’m so, so pleased to be pregnant, and I’d put up with a lot worse if I had to, but to be honest sometimes I’m just tired of feeling sick.
… at least I truly do feel pregnant now.