Those of you who live in Australia will probably have heard of Kaz Cooke; The rest of you probably will not have. She’s a fiction writer but when she became pregnant she discovered that many pregnancy books contradicted each other and most were not relevant to her particular context, so she wrote her own. A friend recently gave me a copy of her book Up The Duff and I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’m already up to Week 21 even though I’m not quite 15 weeks’ pregnant (patience has never been one of my virtues). It’s an amusing and informative book, a bit lighter on the medical aspects of pregnancy than most, but a whole lot more entertaining.
There are a couple of paragraphs in particular which made me respect Kaz Cooke a whole lot more.
Despite not (to my knowledge) having trouble with IF herself, there is a whole paragraph in Week 8 titled Friends with Pregnancy Troubles which discusses how to sensitively share the news that you are pregnant with a friend struggling with IF or miscarriage. Not only is this the first time I’ve seen this issue properly dealt with in a pregnancy book, the advice is sensible too, and includes the sentence “Don’t for heaven’s sake tell her to “just relax” and she’ll get pregnant…”.
Kaz, I think I love you.
In the Week 13 chapter Kaz then goes on to discuss the way other people may react to your news of being pregnant.
“When people react to your pregnancy, it’s not about you, it’s about them. If they say negative or rude things, it comes from their own experience or their own personality, their own fears or their own problems…”
Smart lady, huh?