…and I feel alright about it.
I truly love breast-feeding and I’m not planning on giving it up any time soon (although if Will wants to continue he’d better learn to stop biting the breast that feeds him) but I truly hate pumping and as good as I am at breastfeeding, I’m equally bad at pumping.
On the day I go to work Will has been drinking expressed milk and I’ve been pumping. The problem is that he consumes almost twice as much as I’m able to pump. At first I was a little worried (read: freakishly stressed) that perhaps my milk supply was dropping and that I was unknowingly starving my little guy. In retrospect that idea is blatantly ridiculous because he continues to stack on the weight and is still sitting at the 90th percentile but this all coincided with Will going through a phase of fussing while he breastfed, something entirely new for him and which I interpreted as him still being hungry. The fact that I could still hand express milk after he had finished feeding could not dissuade me from the worry that he wasn’t getting enough to drink. I will admit it – I am, at times, slightly illogical.
Eventually I realised that my milk supply is just fine. My boobs just hate the pump.
Up until now we’ve gotten by supplementing with the frozen milk that I had banked up in the freezer before I went back to work, but Wee Man has just about drained that dry. From next week, Wee Man will be having formula one day a week.
I miss three feeds while I’m at work. I think I’ll give him breast milk for the first two (if there is enough) and provide the formula for his late afternoon feed. That way there is the least chance of any breast milk going to waste – he doesn’t usually leave much uneaten but when he does it’s usually that later feed.
I must admit that initially I felt a little disappointed about giving him formula. I was worried it would affect my supply – and then I realised that I’m not going to be breast-feeding or pumping any less than I have been for the past two months! He’s just going to be having one formula bottle every week. One per week – hardly a big deal! And, I like knowing that if I ever had to be away from him at short notice, there will be a big ol’ can of good stuff in the cupboard just waiting for him to drink it.